A Christmas of past, present and future
by CD57
Summary: Jack is looking forward to a nice. peaceful Christmas


**TITLE:** A Christmas of Past, Present and Future

**SPOILERS:** minor mentioning to things of season six

**SEASON / SEQUEL:** seven

**CONTENT WARNINGS:** mushy stuff!

**SUMMARY:** This year, I decided to give Jack a nice, peaceful Christmas…

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is written entirely for entertainment and is not intended as an infringement against the copy written material that belongs solely to Showtime, MGM/UA, Gekko Films, et al. I'm only playing with their characters and will return them as soon as the story is finished. The following story is the property of the author and is not to be copied, or published without the express, written consent of the author.

**AUTHOR'S NOTES:** At the time of writing this story, I hadn't seen anything of season 7 yet. This story just continues the line I had set out. Although this is a stand-alone, it might help if you've read my stories **Cassie's Christmas**, **When sorry is not enough** and **Everybody hurts**, as I do refer to things happening in those stories.

It's all about Jack, recovering from his ordeal with Ba'al. And Daniel... need I say more?

Thanks, Judy, for the quick beta.

* * *

><p>It was the day before Christmas.<p>

It had taken him a while to decide what to do, but finally Jack O'Neill had gathered his stuff, thrown them into the back of his truck and left.

He was all by himself this Christmas, and he was going to spend it at his cabin up in the mountains.

He hadn't been to his cabin since that late summer-time leave, when he and Daniel had stayed there for two weeks. It were two difficult weeks, a time for the both of them to work through their problems after Daniel's descending. While Jack couldn't really put the finger on the sore spot, Daniel hadn't rested until everything that was bothering him had come to the surface.

The stubborn archaeologist never knew when to quit, especially when it came to digging through Jack O'Neill's soul. While Jack didn't let anybody mess with his deepest feelings, master as he was in keeping up an act of normalcy, he'd never been able to mislead Daniel before, and he hadn't that particular time either.

Fortunately they'd managed to close lots of the gaps that had grown into their friendship. It was why Jack valued the friendship with the younger man, while they were completely different personalities, they "clicked" somehow. Time had learned he could safely let Daniel in on his deepest turmoil, his contradiction feelings and even bits and pieces of his darkest memories. In return, Daniel had never failed to knock on Jack's door when he needed someone to vent his anger to, his frustration, or share his emotions with. Basically, it meant that, despite their differences, they fully trusted each other.

Their trust had not been unlimited, however. Lots had happened the last couple of years, with Daniel's ascension _and_ returning, and Jack's own experience while being an unwilling guest of Ba'al being the highlights. With everything stowed together they had drifted apart, neither of them detecting or acknowledging it at first. It wasn't long after Daniel's homecoming though, that both men had noticed the change in their relationship, but it had taken a whole lot longer before Daniel had finally dared to come over to Jack's house and had managed to dig to the core of their problems.

_They needed each other._ That much they knew, and their stay at Jack's cabin had brought them closer together once more.

A shiver ran over O'Neill's spine as he remembered the nightmares that had been plaguing him. He'd tried so hard to suppress them, ignore them, put them in a box and close the lid, but it turned out things didn't just work that way. It wasn't until he'd let them come, with Daniel by his side that they finally faded. During those weeks, he'd let them happen, he'd lived through them while Daniel kept reminding him he wasn't stuck in that gravity cell anymore. He'd thought he would go insane many times but Daniel had been there, never failing to encourage him to let it all come out, listening to him as he voiced his fury at Ba'al and holding him as he trembled from the rough emotions wracking his system. True to Daniel's word, it got better. Slowly, the nightmares lost their force and by the end of those two weeks, Jack had actually slept two nights without being disturbed.

He felt so much better since their time off. The nightmares hadn't been back, their friendship however was, and things were just about getting back to normal. It was reason for him to ensure his friends that he was all right, that he had some plans for Christmas and that they were perfectly all right to go and do something without him. They'd been keeping him company long enough, and he was no sorry old fool who couldn't be left alone for Christmas, for crying out loud. They had their lives besides the SGC, although Carter always managed to hide that pretty well. They had the right to go out and have some fun; they weren't obliged to entertain their CO.

He was going to visit Charlie's grave, and remember the good times. He was going to do some repairs on the cabin, some he'd postponed for way too long already. He might even put up a tiny little Christmas tree while he was at it. He was going to drill a hole in the ice and do some fishing. With all that he had planned, time would fly, he was sure of that.

Parking his truck at the cemetery, O'Neill nodded silently to himself. This was the first time in years that he was actually looking forward to Christmas. Another sign he was doing all right, he thought.

Whistling a Christmas tune, he strolled over the cemetery, heading for Charlie's grave.

Unknowingly, his eyes were drawn to another part of the cemetery. He suddenly remembered the man he'd seen there, some months ago, with two little kids, one a mere baby. They had been visiting the grave of the man's wife, the mother of those little kids.

They weren't here, but Jack passed the grave and noticed something that made him stop immediately.

Next to the heart shaped stone at the head of the grave stood a tiny little Christmas tree. It was decorated with some of those wooden ornaments, all shapes of little teddy bears. To make the whole image complete, some of the branches of the little tree were decorated by cute little pink bows.

His heart went out to those little kids, who were about to spend their first Christmas without their mommy, and instantly, Jack knew what he was going to do, right after he'd visited Charlie.

* * *

><p>It was already late afternoon when Jack finally drove up towards his cabin.<p>

His mouth nearly fell open when he discovered the car already parked there, and the person who was sitting on the steps leading to the front door.

_Daniel._

Getting out of his truck, Jack frowned in surprise. He walked up to the steps, and greeted his unexpected visitor. "Daniel, for crying out loud... Your butt is going to freeze to the ground..."

"Hi, Jack," Daniel said, lifting his head to look at his friend. "I was starting to worry you weren't coming after all..."

"Well," the other man shrugged. "I had some things to do... Besides, didn't I tell you to go out and have some fun this year?"

"With whom, Jack?"

Dumbfounded, O'Neill froze at the simple statement. Jack closed his eyes, cursing inwardly for not having realized that sooner. "Daniel..." he started.

"I..." Daniel interrupted, but paused again dropping his chin to the chest before he continued. "I'm sorry. I really don't have anybody else to be with, Jack."

"Oh, come on, Daniel... Somebody of your age..." Jack started to object.

"Jack," Daniel stopped him, his voice firm while he rose to his feet. "Please. I'd like to spend Christmas with you, if that's okay."

O'Neill fidgeted with the keys, and opened up the door. "Welcome to O'Neill's cabin. We don't serve fancy Christmas dinners, the cold is a guarantee and coffee is on the house, if you make it yourself..."

Jackson grinned, and then pointed to his car. "I'm going to grab my stuff, then, k?"

"Then you can help me," O'Neill added, his finger directed towards the truck. "I did some shopping... so we might fix up something special for tomorrow after all."

"Thanks, Jack."

"Don't mention it, Daniel."

Daniel Jackson gathered his belongings from the car. First, he carried two weekend bags inside, stuffed with clothes and other personal belongings. Next, he lifted a crate filled with some groceries from his trunk and carried it inside.

Jack glanced at the crate, his own arms full with bags of groceries. "Came prepared, didn't you?" he mentioned with a slight nod as he placed the bags on the counter. "Afraid I wouldn't have enough to prepare a proper meal?"

Daniel threw a dirty look into Jack's direction. "Well... you have this reputation of being a master in ordering pizzas and drinking beer for supper."

"This is sufficient in most cases..." O'Neill agreed. "But I _can_ cook, you know..."

"Great!" Daniel found a spot on the dark wooden kitchen table to place the crate on, and then walked back outside to gather the rest of his stuff.

O'Neill followed him. "What's that?" he asked, as he watched how Daniel picked up two white boxes.

"Actually, I'm not really sure," said Daniel, his voice lower and hesitating. He stepped inside and put the boxes down on the floor, near the fireplace.

O'Neill stood in the doorway, nonchalantly leaning against the doorframe. "You don't know?"

"I thought... it should be Christmas decorations... I think..." Daniel stammered, clumsily pushing his glasses back on the bridge of his nose. "I haven't looked inside these boxes for ages, actually. It's from my parents, okay?"

O'Neill slowly nodded but remained silent.

"I don't know if you want to decorate the cabin..." Daniel continued, "and I'm not really sure if I am ready to open this, but I thought..."

"Good idea," Jack encouraged. "You know, two years ago, I spent Christmas with Cassie here," his hand motioned towards the fireplace. "She wanted a tree, we went out and chopped one down, and then I brought the decorations down... three boxes filled with stuff from Sarah and Charlie..."

O'Neill fell silent, as he remembered that day clearly. He'd sat on the attic floor, one box opened, a Christmas ornament Charlie had loved so much in his hand. It was there where Cassie had found him lost in memories.

Daniel stared at his friend, surprised at how easy Jack filled him in on something as private as that. It was another small sign that their friendship had taken a turn for the better since last summer.

"Anyway... it was hard, to go through all that stuff. But it felt good, too, you know? And it was Cassie, who said it was okay to remember and to be sad. She said I wasn't betraying on Charlie by using the decorations he loved so well and that he would have wanted me to use them. I think she was right."

Thinking over what Jack was trying to tell him, Daniel slowly glanced from the unopened boxes to his friend and back to the boxes. "So you think I should open them?"

"I think bringing it here was the first step. Now you just need some time to think it over," Jack said softly. "Let's go and get a tree first, before it gets dark."

"What about your decorations?" Daniel couldn't help but wonder.

Jack shrugged. "We could make a nice mixture of stuff... or do you want to put up two trees?"

"Nah," Daniel chuckled. "One would be enough. You're right, let's go before it's too dark.

* * *

><p>An hour later, the two men were back in the cabin. Jack had made a fire, while Daniel busied himself with making coffee.<p>

Just on the right side of the fireplace stood a Christmas tree, almost reaching to the ceiling.

"I didn't say I was coming here for Christmas, did I?" O'Neill wondered out loud.

"Err... no," Daniel admitted. "You said you had plans. I was kinda hoping those meant you would come here, though."

Jack looked up, his eyes wide in surprise. "That was a big if, then..."

"I know," Daniel shrugged. "I thought you didn't want to be a burden, that that was the reason why you told us to go and spend Christmas with family or friends."

"That predictable, huh?"

Jackson grinned. "Nah... guess I was just lucky. I almost left this afternoon, you know. Thinking you were going elsewhere for Christmas after all."

Nodding, Jack fidgeted with the tree, making sure it stood perfectly straight up. "I didn't really plan anything."

"But you are okay with me being here?" Daniel wanted to know.

A faint smile reached O'Neill's lips. "Yeah... of course."

"Good. Don't want to mess up your plans or anything."

"Actually... I was planning to do some repairs to the cabin and now I have a little helper, it will be done much quicker!" O'Neill reasoned.

"Oh, okay," Daniel said. "Wanna go and get your decorations?"

Jack stepped back, eyeing the tree from top to bottom, gave a satisfied nod then turned, clapping his hands together. "Yep. Is that coffee done yet?"

* * *

><p>It was Christmas morning.<p>

Jack O'Neill was up early, got dressed and left the cabin without waking his friend. He left a note on the kitchen table that he would be back for breakfast, so Daniel wouldn't have to worry. He had something to do, something he wanted to do all by himself.

He'd spent quite some time the past day, going from store to store before he'd found what he'd been looking for. Christmas lights were available in most stores, but they were all electrical wired. What he needed was a set of Christmas lights running on batteries.

In the end he found them. Twenty soft white tiny little Christmas lights, with a battery holder, wrapped in a small box. He'd bought batteries to go with them, and just before he left this morning he'd wrapped the battery pack in water-proof tape to protect it from the elements.

He didn't know if, or when the man and his children would come and visit the grave of his wife and their mother, but Jack wanted to plan a little surprise for them. With a wide grin on his face he strolled over the cemetery, the Christmas lights in his hand.

Dropping to his knees next to the grave of the young mother, he pulled the little Christmas tree closer and set to work. Only ten minutes later he'd managed to click the little lights nice and evenly spread through the cute little tree. Lifting the tree from the pot it was in, he hid the battery holder underneath, switched it on and made sure the tree sat solidly in its pot before shoving it back to its spot next to the head stone of the grave.

Looking at his handy work, he nodded to himself. It looked perfect and the batteries would hold for the day. Job done he left, heading for Charlie's grave to wish him a merry Christmas, wondering why he'd never thought of putting up a little tree for his kid like that.

* * *

><p>Christmas dinner chez O'Neill was a perfect treat. Jack never ceased to amaze Daniel, as the linguist sat at the table, waiting for whatever Jack was preparing. The only thing he was allowed to do was set the table and sit back and listen to his stomach growl as delicious smells wafted throughout the cabin.<p>

Maybe to some it wasn't that fancy, but to Daniel it was the best Christmas meal he'd had in a long time. Roast-beef, baked potatoes, rice and vegetables, the beef covered with a delicious red wine sauce as the finishing touch.

"Okay," Daniel said between two bites, unable to hide his disbelief. "You didn't know I was coming, yet you manage to prepare something like this."

A wide grin was his answer.

"Ja-ack..."

"What?" O'Neill shot back, playing along.

"How did you do this?"

Jack let out a deep, apparently bored sigh. "First, you slice the meat. Then, while you roast it in the pan, you prepare the...

"Ja-aaack," Daniel interrupted. "Were you planning to cook all of this for yourself?"

"Maybe."

Closing his eyes, Daniel slightly shook his head. He wasn't getting anywhere. "Well. Whatever. It's delicious, Jack."

"Good. Don't let it get cold."

Daniel didn't, his mouth already full, but unable to keep his mouth shut for a minute or so, he spoke up again. "You look good, Jack."

The other man's eyes went wide. "What, are you coming on to me?"

Chuckling, Daniel put his fork back on the table. "That's not what I mean, and you know it. You look great. Completely opposite of when we were here last summer."

A dark expression appeared on O'Neill's face, only for a split second, though. "Yeah. I'm doing fine. Thanks to you."

Jackson shook his head. "No, no, no. Not thanks to me. You owe that all to yourself, Jack. That took a lot of courage, to deal with those memories. I can't help thinking most people wouldn't have made it, Jack. Would have gone crazy and been locked up for good. You, however, managed to beat the odds... and look at you. You're doing fine."

"You told me so."

"Yeah, I know..." Daniel hesitated. "But to be totally honest: I was bluffing a bit. I needed _you_ to believe it. I couldn't possibly imagine how you would manage to live with what Ba'al did to you, but the alternative was unacceptable. I mean, what's the point of being saved only to lose the battle after all?"

O'Neill gave a slight nod. "I had some help."

"It took me long enough to be there, though," Daniel sighed. "But I'm grateful that it worked out in the end."

At that point, O'Neill got up, went to take something from the cupboard and came back with a present, wrapped in Christmas paper.

"What's that?" Daniel glanced at the hand with the gift held out in front of him.

"It's... " O'Neill stammered. "I didn't go out shopping for presents or anything. It's nothing special... it's my Christmas gift. For you."

"Jack..."

"Come on, Daniel. Open it."

Carefully, Daniel removed the paper. Pushing it aside, he held a wooden picture frame in his hand. Slowly, he turned it around and found himself looking at a picture of Jack and Charlie.

"Jack..." Daniel fell silent for a while. It was a familiar picture, Charlie was dressed in a baseball outfit. The picture was taken in some baseball stadium. It was a reminder of a special day. A special memory of father and son sharing their love of baseball and of each other, made all the more priceless because of the tragedy which had forever closed the doors to other such days, Daniel knew.

"Jack... I can't take this..." Daniel didn't know what to say, looking up at his friend. "This is your favorite picture..."

"I want you to have it, Daniel," the older man said, staring at the floor. "Just in case... something happens to me. I want you to remember me the way I was. That I wasn't always a grumpy, old man. And Charlie," Jack pointed at the frame in Daniel's hands, "Charlie helped make me into what I am today, that's why I want you to remember him as well."

Staring at the photo in his hands, Daniel remained silent for a long time before looking up and searching his friend's face. "Thank you. This means a lot to me," he said sincerely.

Letting out a relieved sigh, O'Neill nodded. "You're welcome." He sat down, picked up his fork and finished his plate.

Quietly, they finished desert, each lost in his thoughts. When he was almost done, Daniel got up and left the room to return shortly after.

Handing Jack a tiny little gift he shrugged. "Time to return the favor. This is what I wanted to give to you."

O'Neill's eyes widened in surprise, as if not expecting a Christmas gift at all. "What is it?" he asked the obvious.

"You'll see after you open it," grinned Daniel, settling himself back at the table.

"Okay," O'Neill stretched, feeling with his fingers to get an idea from the shape of the package, then slowly turning it around and around.

"Ja-ack..." Daniel sighed.

Smiling now, Jack tore the paper off, to be left staring in surprise at the gift now visible in his hands. "Daniel?"

"It's something I got from one of my foster parents," the linguist started. "You know... I moved from home to home... having trouble adjusting... and I was too young to understand and I had nightmares about my parents' accident, about new parents turning me down..." Daniel lowered his gaze to the table. "Afraid nobody would want me... that kind of stuff..."

O'Neill eyed his friend carefully, not wanting to interrupt the bits of the story being revealed to him.

"Anyway," the younger man rambled on, almost tripping over the speed of his own words. "At one point, I had this foster mother, who was really sweet and all. She saw through me pretty well, I must say. She realized I was just a scared little kid and she gave me that."

Knowing there was more to come, Jack nodded encouragingly.

"It's a dream catcher, Jack. She told me it was a gift from an old Indian. That you're supposed to hang this in your bedroom and that it would then take your bad dreams away. She hung it above my bed and assured me everything would be all right. I've kept it ever after."

Daniel paused, watching how his friend carefully looked at the ring, embroidered with soft leather. There was some sort of maze formed in the center of the ring, with a couple of red beads attached to the threads. A leather strap at the top was meant to hang it to the wall or ceiling somewhere while the sides and bottom were decorated with little bundles of feathers, held together with more red beads.

"The fact that you let me help you deal with your nightmares means the world to me, Jack," Daniel continued, now searching for the older man's gaze. "And it worries me that if I'm not there, you have no-one to turn to, nobody you trust enough to let him close like you let me. That's why I want you to have the dream catcher. It has helped me and now you have something to help you, for those times I cannot be there."

"Daniel," O'Neill stumbled.

"Now, seriously, Jack," Daniel spoke firmly. "I still feel terrible for not being there when you needed me most and I never want to feel that way again. But you know as well as I do that I can't guarantee to be around forever and knowing you have this makes me feel a whole lot better, okay?"

"I..." Jack hesitated, looking for the right words. "I... I guess I don't know what to say, except thank you very much."

Staring intently over the table, a warm smile appeared on Daniel's face. "Merry Christmas, Jack. Thanks, for being my friend."

"Merry Christmas, Daniel," Jack responded. "And thank you for putting up with me. I think I need a beer now."

**einde**


End file.
